10 Natural Bush Wars You Never Categorized as Legendary
A moustache is I quote “a threadlike growth on an animate being”, or some might even refer to it as their nose neighbor. Leave it to my girlfriend, she knows my skin better than my skin disease, ask her to redefine it, she takes it as her lip teaser (Ouch!) or her borrowed brooms, that’s said, she kissed me and felt like as if my lady lickers wanted sex on their own – now that’s how I feel about them. Don’t just shave them off; they are a product of masculinity and a symptom of your so called springtime. So let’s begin with our list of worshipers.
10. Adolf Hitler aka The Toothbrush lover
Hitler had very sexy hands; I would surely love a piece of those. He belonged to Germany and was a Fucker, oops! Sorry a “Führer”, yes a Führer is a leader in German, so that’s said he was also a dictator, as hard as Krupp steel and a guy. To some he was a playboy at an early age, he is known to have grown the infamous liking for a toothbrush since he was still floating in the womb, what a jerk, couldn’t wait. This neatly trimmed, upper porch style became his signature look whenever he uttered “du dumme Menschen” to the prisoners, which meant “you stupid man”. The moustache told his ferocity and reveled his days at the bathhouse he never told his wife about. Seriously!?
9. Ambrose Burnside aka The Unexplored Bush
One glance at this face will put my wife’s pubic jungle to shame. And I am not kidding; I haven’t seen my Gillette for a year! Look at the bush volume on this one; he had the guts to be an American soldier, an executive, an inventor, an industrialist and a US senator, damn. He supported a hybrid moustache, the one that joins the beard half way through and claims its coverage on the cheeks. Good luck cleaning that Burnside!
8. Clay Zavada
Utterly natural and loved every minute, this style is called the handlebar moustache. A baseball lover and a pitcher, Mr. Clay worshiped his fanny duster forever and ever and ever, he even spared time for caressing it during a ball catch, beat that! How sweet of him to keep it so well trimmed and lively, he was practically known because of it. His wife kissed the bars, nearly missing his lips. Hey Clay, keep it oiled for us.
7. Tom Selleck
You all know him, of course from the popular TV serial Magnum PI. Supporting a sweeper moustache throughout his career, he made it his mark to be known because of it, and many waxed hunks followed his style and now it has become a novelty having a sweeper under your horn. Girls would sure love to reveal the hidden upper lip. Personally this is what I wanted; too bad you get all your nose vomit lubricating the mesh. What did we say, everything has a dark side.
6. Hulk Hogan
Why didn’t we put him on the top tenth, well for a reason; he wouldn’t be known a tad bulkier, if it weren’t for the moustache he kept. That extra mass can only be judged by carefully studying the growth under the cave, known popularly as the trucker moustache, this type tells about dominance in males, the level of libido one has, the test tube sovereignty and so on, I could go on for a year with it. Some also define it as the horseshoe moustache; it’s another connotation, as long as the hairy office is clean and in shape. Smooch!
5. Frank Zappa
On the sixth we have Mr. Zappa, a music composer and a songwriter, known to few, this dude used to say “I am what I am because of my moustache” WHAT!? Then why isn’t Obama the beggar or Chris the pornstar? With due respect Zappa; you are wrong, you are dead now so let’s give him one good reason for not breathing away his last moment. Sharp lasting around the corners and having a broader area, this style has all the parental advice it can get, a true joke indeed. HAHA!
4. Clark Gable
The bunnies are back, some lunatic found a way relating this look with the bunny’s rear. Luckily Mr. Gable didn’t hear it, apologies! I mean what’s so bunny about it? Clearly it’s a pencil moustache which won an academy award for Gone with the Wind. You should have seen him lip lock the babe in the film, boy his muzzle was all over her margins, and that pencil trim was all saliva-ised after a minute long kiss. That’s no way to treat a handsome growth like that (repeated), he should get a stapler for it too.
3. Ron Jeremy aka The Chaotic Rubber
Hide, people HIDE! It’s him, it’s HIM! The advent of the purple pants is here, you guessed it and this is how Jeremy lost his virginity, his innocence. Jeremy says if you have what it takes to show off, then it’s no shame letting others telephone your friend and discuss your manhandle. One look at his moustache, reminds me when Russians used to shave off their war ridden groin bushes is the 1960s, how odd it would be guiding the scissors around this moustache’s racetrack. Jeremy talks freestyle just like his untidy push brooms.
2. Sam Elliott aka The Grody Bastard
The name itself scares you to nearly passing over, this one sturdy dude is an American actor and the best thing is he doesn’t even have to act, he is a living actor, no we mean a real living actor, he was born western and he does western, how difficult can it be, and his moustache tells a different story, the rangy touch to it as the ends curve to give it another angle, just like western with a kick. Also note that his rugged skin too has further highlighted the image, which means if he ever trimmed off the assets, he would look like a naked napkin. Imagine that!
1. Wyatt Earp aka The Milkshake Drinker
